Your wife has suddenly started talking about breast augmentation surgery. If you don’t know why, find out. Listen to her. Try to figure out how she feels about her body and her breasts. Try to figure out whether you have done something (most likely not) or whether there is anything you can do to help her resolve these issues (most likely not). In general a woman’s relationship with her body is something you can’t change, no matter how many times you (truthfully) tell her how much you love her as she is.
If your wife decides that she wants to go through with the surgery, be supportive. Encourage her in the process of gathering information and finding a doctor. Do not discourage her, and try to find ways of speaking positively about the surgery without disparaging her current body (since she may not end up going through with it, after all). Show excitement and a moderate amount of initiative. Too much excitement, of course, will imply that you’re unhappy with her current body, but you should definitely make her believe you feel the surgery will be good for her. Do a little research on your own, and it doesn’t hurt to bring a little gift every now and then to help alleviate her stress and anxiety.
A lot of advice columns on breast enlargement and husbands say that it’s entirely her decision and that you simply have to deal with it. Not so. The Bible says man and wife are one flesh, and whether or not you are religious, the truth is that you will have to live with the results of her breast enlargement surgery for as long as she will. Every time you see her, every time you touch her, the breast implants will be there. The breast enlargement surgery may lead to complications with breast-feeding if you are considering having more children. Even if the decision is ultimately hers, she has to allow for your feelings on the matter, and you have to make your feelings clear. Breast enlargement surgery can resolve some important issues for some couples, but if you keep your feelings bottled up, it can also lead to troubles later on.
If you are concerned your wife is getting this surgery to get attention from other men, say so. She is not, but you won’t help her or you by keeping this feeling suppressed, because no matter what she will get more attention from other men. Nip jealousy in the bud and you’ll both be happier.
Man and wife are also often one bank account. And even if you have separate accounts and work separate jobs, unless you itemize all expenses to make sure neither of you takes financial responsibility for the other, the odds are you will take a financial hit as a result of her surgery expenses. Express your feelings on the cost. Make sure you feel this is a worthwhile investment, and that you won’t blame her for the expense. Help her consider her financing options for breast enlargement surgery to come up with a solution you can both live with. Money is one of the most common sources of tension between couples and you have to make sure you are not augmenting trouble and not just the breasts.
Your wife will have a lot to do before her surgery. First, she will have to make decisions about her breast implants’ size, shape, and fill. She may walk around in bras filled with baggies or stockings full of rice or couscous to try out her size. Find out what size she is trying and give helpful input. Don’t try to guide her choice of size, but definitely help her make a decision. When she is doing her research, help her make sure she’s considered all the surgical options. Look at before and after pictures of breast enlargements with her and discuss them frankly. Meet her doctor. Make sure you trust this man or woman to put your wife under the knife. Give your input to help her choose her cosmetic surgeon, but make sure you’re not being overprotective or jealous. If your wife wants you to be at the consultation, participate, but make sure you are mostly listening. Let your wife talk to the doctor. If your wife can’t or won’t talk to the doctor, maybe he/she is not the right choice. Give honest, straightforward answers when asked.
Also make sure your kids are involved, too. They won’t have any decisions to make, but they’re going to be inconvenienced, and they’re going to notice. Your behavior will be a guide to them. If you are supportive, they will be, too. Answer their questions in an honest, straightforward fashion. Trying to hide anything or be evasive will make them more curious.
Make sure you know what to expect after the breast enhancement surgery. Once your wife’s surgery is over, you will have to take care of her completely for at least a day or two. Make sure you’re prepared to do that, including:
· Arrange for time off from work
· Lay in a supply of food you can cook
· Find out where everything is, so you don’t have to ask
· Fill her prescriptions and keep them handy
· Help her prepare her bed by buying extra pillows or a bed wedge if necessary (she will have to sleep upright for a while)
· Make sure you know what the kids’ needs and schedules are
· Figure out how you are going to keep the kids from bothering her
· Find ways your kids can help without being too demanding of feedback
· Get her gifts throughout the recovery. Good gifts include:
o Body lotion and bath supplies
o New clothes you think will look good on her new shape (keep receipts!)
· Be mentally prepared for any and all of the following
o She will be in pain
o She may be ecstatic about her results
o She may be upset about her results
o She may be depressed
o She may be manic
o She may be angry
o She may be all of the above by turns
o She may have nausea
o She may need a lot of medication
o She may have complications
o You may have to sleep on the floor
o You may be the brunt of her emotion
o You may be ecstatic about her results
o You may be upset about her results
o You may be depressed, manic, or angry by turns
o You cannot touch her breasts for three weeks after the surgery
o Your love life will never be the same (it will probably be better!)
After your wife has recovered, her new confidence will lead to changes in her behavior. She will also want to shop for clothes that show off her new body. She may dress more provocatively, both in public and in private. She may not conceal herself as much or try to prevent you from seeing her naked.
She will receive more attention from men on the street. This is pretty much inevitable, and not a cause for concern. Take the glances as compliments, and don’t be defensive. Point them out to your wife as positive things that can help complete the results of the surgery: a happier, healthier woman.
A Guide to Breast Augmentation For Husbands by Matthew Candelaria