Married and Masturbating: How Open Should a Man Be?

A guy usually starts masturbating when he is a teen-ager and continues through his life. That naturally means that married men continue masturbating, even when they are the participants of regular sexual activity with their partners. Frequent ejaculations, including from masturbation, help to ensure penis health, so this is perhaps to be expected. Yet many men feel shame about masturbating while married, and this raises the question: How should a husband be about pleasuring himself?

How many masturbate?

No one can say for sure how often married men masturbate. One online survey found that 87% of its male married respondents said they had masturbated in the last three months before taking the survey. (Of the men surveyed, 9% masturbated daily or more; 30% reported masturbating between one to three times during the three month period.) Another survey found that 85% of men who were married or living with another person masturbated.

Assuming that these statistics are somewhat accurate, it's clear that most married men do not stop engaging in masturbatory activity once they are married. Do their wives know this? According to the first survey referred above, only 15% of wives knew how often their husbands took sexual matters into their own hands.

Open or not?

Should a man be open with his spouse about his masturbatory habits? There is no universal answer. A great deal depends on several factors:

– How comfortable does the man feel about his masturbating? Many men have associations of guilt and shame connected to masturbation. They do not like to admit that they masturbate to even their closest friends – even if said friends have no problem referencing their own boner fondling activities. In such cases, a man must feel very positive that the information will be received by his wife in an appropriate manner. Which leads to:

– How receptive does he think his wife would be? Some women do not really want to know how often meat-beating goes on when they're not around. They may assume that their husbands are above what they may consider base desires or they may assume that the men masturbate because most men do – and some women are fine with that. Hopefully, a man and woman in a relationship know enough about each other to be able to predict the partner's level of interest in this subject.

– Does he want to share this information? Many men may not want to make public the details of their solo sexual life – not because they are ashamed or feel guilty, but because it is something that he does by, to and for himself, and he feels his privacy should be respected.

– Is the activity related to a problem? Sometimes a man may masturbate as a way of escaping or avoiding something. He may masturbate because he feels angry at his wife but can not express this. Or he may feel coldly towards his wife and decide he would rather masturbate than engage in sexual intimate with her. If this kind of activity is consistent, the masturbation may be a sign of a larger problem. Talking about why he is masturbating in these instances may be a way to address these issues.

It should be noted that openness about masturbation varies significantly. Some men masturbate furtively and in secret; Others may think nothing of fondling themselves while they watch TV with their wives. Finding the appropriate degree of openness depends upon the people involved in the relationship.

Of course, masturbating sometimes leads a man – married or otherwise – to penile soreness from over-enthusiastic engagement. Using a top-drawer penis health creme (health professionals recommend Man1 Man Oil) with the natural moisturizing power of Shea butter and vitamin E can help alleviate such soreness. If loss of sensation due to rough handling is an issue, a crème that also includes neuroprotective acetyl L-carnitine can help; This ingredient's ability to counter peripheral nerve damage makes it invaluable in restoring lost sensitivity.

Married and Masturbating: How Open Should a Man Be? by John Dugan